The top ten signs that you are not a real mathematician:

1. You dress up to teach.
2. You write your name as "..., Ph.D.".
3. You take copious notes in faculty meetings.
4. You believe that job applicants' teaching statements mean anything.
5. If a student calls you "Mr." or "Ms.", you correct them and say "It's Dr.!".
6. The order of your co-author's names is determined by anything other than the alphabet.
7. You like to use Microsoft Word.
8. The phrase "active learning" does not rub you the wrong way.
9. You think a graduate student's teaching duties are more important than their academic progress.
10. You are offended by this list.